The Older you get the younger they get...

I just have some random thoughts concerning getting older and how that changes your thinking about friends, relationships, and family.

First of all, I think being a man affects how you deal with friendships and the boundaries you put between yourself and others. What I mean is, when I was younger I was much more willing to make new friends all over the place. I loved meeting new people, the crazier the better. I was also more willing to mix the line between friendship and relationships with my women friends. I was much more flirtatious and would have jumped into a relationship with them if there had been a possibility. Now, however, I find that I like to draw those lines much more carefully. A friend is a friend, a relationship is a relationship. Flirting is against this natural law. This may also have to with the fact that many women our age or either married, in serious relationships, or frakking crazy from being soooo single. That kind of puts a damper on things.

It is also amazing that I have only ONE close friend that is going to get married- he's not even married YET! I mean, I have other friends who are married, but for a factor of losing contact or really, maybe BECAUSE they are married, I don't really see them that much anymore. It's like there's this big divide between married/single people and never the twain shall meet. It's weird. And this friend who's getting married doesn't even live close, so it's like I'll be hanging with him either. Anyway, it's gets a man thinking, "when is it my turn? Do I really want a turn?"

Lastly, your relationship changes with your family as well. You find that expectations have changed about how you contribute to the "family legacy" whatever that means. Your parents are getting older and expecting certain steps. If you are the first child there is some unspoken feeling that you should be leading the siblings in the whole successful career, marriage, child-rearing gig. If you are a younger sibling it's "why aren't you more like you're older sibling?" Now, that's not to say my parents are like that, they're not, but it's a general feeling in our society as well. Follow the family legacy. Make a name, create some names, be there. Or maybe that's all in our heads (or just mine).

Anyway, those are just some random thoughts on this fine March day. Goodbye.

What Makes Men Fall in Love?

I read an article this morning on Yahoo on what makes men fall in love, noting half of all men do not believe they are currently not with their sole mates and 60% believe that friendship is most important (with sex at 8%).

The four main points got me thinking. Men (according the article) are attracted to women who have a passion in something other than him, who have no problem with guy time, who has a strut, and can help guide and mother us at times.

The passion and strut ("Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times.") I think are true. And reminded me of our earlier conversation on passion versus comfort.